im 24 and im not usually the one to approach a guy so i could be sitting waiting for mr. right to come along and speak to me for a very long time.i have very litrtle confidence sometimes.im the type of girl.who normally is the shy quiet type.but sometimes outgoing and talkative depends on the person.i find it very hard to approach guys.cause i dont think theyd be interested in a girl like me.or think im attractive.lets face it no confidence low selfesteem.guy im a walking disaster area.i wish there was some kind of spell to put on me that would be making me this really beautiful girl.so id be popular and have friends and get the hott popular in school.i love teen witch.too bad that cant be for real.ive seen it far too many times lol.i for once wanna be the girl again that people approach i do have a sour look on my face im not that happy always i dont get out much.to be around guys like your really gonna meet a guy in a store or movie theather yeah if your a teen maybe.im passed my teen years.im passed knowing where to go.hopefully i find somewhere to go.i think  i need to ask my family to give me a makeover and go shopping maybe thatll make me feel like a new person.and if men or guys cant see how good a person i am or how pretty i am than the hell with it.

Im feeling bored and a little scared and lazy tonight.im at my current residence while my sisters alone at her house which ill be moving back into.soon rather than later.she said shes worried she might be having the baby soon i reminded her to call my other sister to pick her up and take her to the hospital.Its kind of scary to me cause were family.its sort of like  when your twins you know how the other person feels or think you know how they feel you can relate.i may never know what its like to have a baby but i do like kids some kids.i think i was a good aunt.and still am.i cant wait till the new baby gets here.i just feel horrible that it has to come in such a painfully awful way.like most mothers  go through.meanwhile my heads spinning.wondering if my family is alright and when my sister will be at the hospital.whats gonna happen in the next few days.the coming week .Just everything.Its a big change  in everyones life including m ine i have to be the best aunt and person i always have been and to can be.my family means everything to me.they always have i never realized it till now.but family is everything.

a few years ago i was going through a very difficult time i had noone to talk to but my family.although me and my family had a little bit of a hard time communicating.what i thought was right in my life was completely wrong.i eventually made some changes in my life.now im having trouble with my weight and being social because its so hard to get out there and meet new people who either do understand or have mental illness or dont.but thats not the point.im trying to work out on going back to the gym cause im gaining alot of weight even my family warned me not to eat so much and im on medication so that just makes me eat more.cause of too many cravings.thats why i was so shocked when the singer adele wanted to lose weight.i always thought of her as a romodel to people who are plus size like me.boy was i wrong.heres the thing nobody likes to be heavy.i always wonder why noone approaches me probably because im way too fat.so what kind of girls do men really want.i figured they want skinny mini skirt blonde or brunette hottie.that just makes me feel happy and left out.so both mixed feelings ive got against people who make fun of plus size woman and too skinny woman.people should be happy.so im kind of pissed at the world at times thinking about what people are really thinking or saying behind my back.it could be some rude nasty horrible cruel things.id never wanna even repheat.to anyone not even my sisters.theyd think i was crazy.so that leaves me to keep pondering this question.till i find that out.any comments replies.